Hi there. You aren’t alone, dear. Pretty much everyone gets anxiety, at least to some extent, about going to school and work. Work and school environments can be very nerve-wracking!
It is good that you want to succeed. That can be scary, because the possibility of failure is scary. But it doesn’t have to be so overwhelming. You control your present and your future. So, don’t worry about what you’ve done in that past, because you can’t change it. Focus more on what you are doing and what you can do. Stop yourself from misbehaving and remind yourself to take your studies and work seriously. Goofing off and having fun every now and then is fine, but it has its place. Work/school and fun aren’t mutually exclusive, work/school can be fun. But if your work and school are your priority, focus on doing what you need to do.
I find that it helps to set goals. Like, if you are in class, set little goals for yourself. A good example would be like “I will ask one relevant question in class today” or “I will contribute at least twice to class conversations” and that sort of thing. A lot of students find class boring if they are just being lectured to, so get involved if you can! You’ll learn more by getting involved and your teacher will take notice of you getting involved.
There can be a lot of distractions when doing homework, so setting goals regarding that can help, as well. So, institute some goals and guidelines, like “when I finish writing this paper, I’ll give myself half an hour to do whatever I want (like go on the internet or watch tv or whatever) before I get back to work”. Things like that make homework less tedious because you’re breaking it up into manageable chunks. Also, study buddies help. If you’re in a class with some people you know, say your class is reading a book, maybe a weekend before the book is due for class meet up and talk about it. The same works for exams, like if you have a big exam coming up (or even if you just need help with the material, although you could go straight to the teacher for that), meet up with some classmates and talk about it. Don’t let these (like the internet or study groups) become distraction. There is self-discipline involved here. But what I’ve found is that once you can make these situations work for you, like get what you need to get done now and have fun later, that self-discipline helps you a lot in life.
The same goes for work. I don’t know what kind of job you have, but I can use an example from my own life. I worked at a bakery one summer and I had a lot of responsibilities that varied day to day, depending on what we were baking each day and if we had orders coming in. However, every day I was still responsible for making sure the front of the store was stocked and cleaned and that the dishes were done. when there are a lot of things that need to be done, it can be overwhelming. So, I found it helpful to prioritize what needed to be done as they came up. Like, on a given day if I had to help bake cookies as well as the usual costumer service/dealing with the front/cleaning stuff, I’d prioritize. Whenever a customer came, I dropped everything and helped them. Then I went back to the big task of the day - baking cookies. I spent most of my time on that, but everytime I had a costumer I’d check that the front was stocked and if it wasn’t, I’d stock it. Work, no matter the job, is a balancing act. My boss always said “Work smart, not hard”. So, work smart! Refilling the front of the store when I was in the front anyway makes more sense than rushing to the back to fill it when a costumer comes in and asks for something. So that kind of thing, where you figure out your priorities for each day and what needs to be done and going from there, makes it a whole lot easier to manage. Again, I have no idea what work you do/want to do but I hope this story helps. Again, managing work and time is really about prioritizing and using your time wisely.
Believe in yourself, dear. There’s no need to be so self-conscious. School and work are scary, but they don’t have to be so scary. There are ways to manage it. Chin up, dear <3